


Come Alive

by Nath_The_Master



Series: Past Lives Series/All Your Faves Are Trans [4]
Category: Glee
Genre: Adopted Finn, F/M, Japanese Finn, Klaine, M/M, Platonic Finchel, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Finn Hudson, but it's not really brought up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-07 23:01:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17374853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nath_The_Master/pseuds/Nath_The_Master
Summary: “Hey! Are you drawing me?” Sakura startled at the voice from behind her counter. Eyes flashing up...there was nobody there.“Down here! Considering your height I don't get how you can’t see me.” Leaning a bit over the counter, Sakura saw it was the small Asian, glowering up at her through thick eyelashes.“Amber, right?”“So? Were you drawing me? And why?”





	Come Alive

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write a sequel to Friendly Reminder to compensate for the fact that my favourite Trans Finn fic probably isn’t going to be updated again. (Pretty Girl by Joyful, check it out!) I’m sorry this is so late getting out, I’ve been having a really busy winter, along with a little bit of writer's block. I’ve been rereading over Friendly Reminder and Pretty Girl, so I think I’m pretty confident with how this turned out.   
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Glee or ATC.   
> XO Nath

_ I've been floating on a dark wave/Don't want nobody to come rescue me/No direction in mind/I'm just killing time/I gave my body to the riptide/Maybe it will put me back to sleep/It was the last thing I had/Now I can't get it back/There's a war inside my mind/But I'm the only one who fights/And I get lost here every night/I'm just trying to survive _

 

It was two am on a school night, and Sakura couldn’t sleep. More like she was avoiding sleeping, scared of her dreams. Watching your mum die in front of you did that. She slipped out of bed, her fluffy socks padding down the stairs to Kurt’s basement room. 

“Kurt?” she watched him wake, sitting up blearily.

“What’s up, S?” 

“Can I sleep with you tonight? I’m scared of my dreams.”

Kurt moved to one side of his large bed, “Yeah, get in.” Sakura curled up underneath the covers with him, breathing in his calming scent of expensive cologne and dryer sheets. 

“Night S.” Instead of answering, she curled up against his side, falling into a dreamless sleep.

___________________

The next morning, neither Kurt nor Sakura noticed Carole and Burt taking photos of them, fast asleep, step-brother and step-sister. 

_   
_ _ I want to come alive, come alive/Tell myself that it's alright/Come alive, come alive/Yeah, I'm tired but I gotta fight/I want to come alive, come alive/No more sleepwalking through life/Come alive, come alive/Yeah, I'm tired but I gotta fight _ __   
  


Just getting through the hallways now was a challenge. Getting shoved into lockers, books knocked out of your hands, tripped, and spat at didn’t make getting to Study Hall easy. Finally making it to the library, Sakura sat behind the counter, scanned her ID card to check in, and pulled out her sketchbook. Dark eyes glancing around the library, she spotted a tiny Asian girl in a wheelchair arguing quietly with a Hispanic girl with scarily pink hair. Amber and Camille, maybe? She sketched out the girls, tuning out the rest of the room, only focusing on the quiet scratching of her pencil. 

“Hey! Are you drawing me?” Sakura startled at the voice from behind her counter. Eyes flashing up...there was nobody there. 

“Down here! Considering your height I don't get how you can’t see me.” Leaning a bit over the counter, Sakura saw it was the small Asian, glowering up at her through thick eyelashes.

“Amber, right?”

“So? Were you drawing me? And why?” 

“I was drawing you because you have an amazing figure. You’re very interesting to look at.” Sakura passed Amber her sketchbook and watched nervously as she flipped through the pages.

“You’re really good. You should come to the art room after school! A bunch of us get together and eat snacks and do whatever artsy thing we like!” 

Thinking it over, Sakura nodded.

_   
_ _ Still a slave to my emotions/Yeah, they always get the best of me/I'm tired of feeling like shit/But I'm too numb to quit it/There's a war inside my mind/But I'm the only one who fights/And I get lost here every night/I'm just trying to survive _ _   
_ __   
**August**

 

Sakura was hanging out at the local coffee shop with Tina and Rachel when someone she had never seen in Lima-or Westerville-walk in. He was taller than she was, a feat in itself, had brown hair that fell over his left eye, and big blue eyes that seemed to see into her soul across the room. 

“Babe, you’re staring. And close your mouth.” 

She spun to her best friend and ex-girlfriend and hissed,  “He’s really fucking hot! Think he’d be attracted to a transgirl?”

Amber giggled behind her mug of tea, earning a swift slap to the arm.

“It’s not funny!” 

“Not that! I think he heard you!” Amber was snorting now, even Rachel was giggling a bit. Spinning around, Sakura saw that the aforementioned teen was as red as a tomato, and in grave danger of crushing his styrofoam coffee cup. Steeling her nerves, she stood up and walked over to him. 

“I’m sorry you had to hear me being a mess of a person. I’m Sakura.”

He shook his head, apparently clearing his brain, before shaking her outstretched hand. 

“Elliot. Lovely to meet you.”

___________

Needless to say, at the end of the week Sakura and Elliot were best friends, and when school started up again, they were dating.

_   
_ _ I want to come alive, come alive/Tell myself that it's alright/Come alive, come alive/Yeah, I'm tired but I gotta fight/I want to come alive, come alive/No more sleepwalking through life/Come alive, come alive/Yeah, I'm tired but I gotta fight/(I'm just trying to survive)/I'm alright but that's a lie/I'm not alright, I'm not alright _ __   
  


It’s alright, you’re fine, it’s nothing, you’re fine. The words repeated themselves like a war chant inside Sakura’s head. It was two am on a school night, and like the first night, she couldn’t sleep. 

Yet, unlike the first night, this was not caused by general teenage insomnia, but instead, paralyzing self-hatred and an urge to just slice up her arms, down a bottle of cold medicine, or jump off her roof. 

She couldn’t go to her mom or Burt, they were on a mini-honeymoon, and she couldn’t go to Kurt, he was on a secret trip with Blaine. Amber was sick, Tina and Rachel were asleep and she didn’t want to wake them up, and Elliot…

If he saw her like this he would break up with her for sure. No wig, no makeup, no boobs, in her pyjamas, looking like Finn. Trying so hard to avoid crying she was shaking with the effort, sitting in the dark of her messy bedroom. Shit, she needed to call Elliot.

Stumbling out into the hall, she grabbed the landline from her mom’s office and shakily dialled Elliot’s number.

“H’llo?” Hearing his voice-even half asleep and delirious-was like a river in the Sahara. 

“Elliot? Can you come over, please?” 

“Sa? What's wrong?” He sounded more awake now, shuffling around for something.

“I-I-I just need you. Please, I’m the only one home and I need you!” She had slid down to the floor of the hallway, still shaking.

“I’ll be there in ten minutes. Can you unlock the front door for me, love?” She could hear footsteps now- like he was going down a set of stairs. 

“Y-yeah. I’ll do that.” 

“I’ll see you soon, okay?”

She nodded, despite the fact that they were talking on the phone, and hung up, heading downstairs. 

Ten minutes later, the sound of a door opening broke Sakura from her dark thoughts. She had curled up on the couch, arms around her knees, head hidden. She looked up as the couch sank next to her, and turned to Elliot as he opened his arms. She collapsed into her boyfriend's warm embrace, finally letting go.

_________________

When Kurt arrived home, he was astonished to see his step-sister, looking like Finn, tucked tightly into her boyfriend’s side on the couch, both softly snoring. He smiled and covered them with a blanket, brushing her thick black hair out of her eyes gently. 

_   
_ _ I want to come alive, come alive/Tell myself that it's alright/Come alive, come alive/Yeah, I'm tired but I gotta fight/I want to come alive, come alive/No more sleepwalking through life/Come alive, come alive/Yeah, I'm tired but I gotta fight/(Come alive, come alive/Come alive, come alive/Come alive, come alive)/Yeah I'm tired but I gotta fight _

 

Sakura’s final art project was a series of paintings and drawings that commemorated the struggles of an Asian Transwoman in a white, cisgender society. Kurt, Amber, Tina, Rachel, and Elliot were not surprised when it was featured at the National Gallery of Art in Washington DC. Sakura was. 


End file.
